jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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