Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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