shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize