he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
