i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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