ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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