i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
