I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
