your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
