Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
