I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I believe in your delicious
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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