I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
