Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
