I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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