Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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