You're my little dorito
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
