if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
