make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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