So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
