there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Best friends brother. Beat that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
