did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize