The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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