Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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