Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
