If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
