from now on my penis is your penis
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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