yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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