So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
