Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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