You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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