You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
