I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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