i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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