I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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