I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
