we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
