I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
