clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize