I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
