I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
