Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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