I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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