sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
