Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Shame - the story of my life.
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