have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
