You smell like stripper and shame
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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