winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
