I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
