so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
