Whod you bang
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
