I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
