She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
