How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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