My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
