He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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