I am in a vortex of obligation.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
