What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
