dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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