So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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