"it" just moved
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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