Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
