Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
