Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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